Archive for the ‘journey within’ Category
You’ll be two times looser when you’re in love with your best friend. And he/she cannot return your feeling.
By then, you loose a best friend and a potential romance altoghether, exchanging laughters with pains.
gw gk bisa nulis sesuatu yang berarti saat ini. hati gw diliputi kesesakan yang memuakan. rasanya cuman pengen ngilang dari dunia ini. gk tau apa ada kehidupan lain yang lebih menarik dari pada dsini. toh gk ada yang bisa gw harapkan dari kehidupan gw sekarang. these all big, deep and meaningless.
meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless meaningless
Entah kenapa dari jam 5:51:15 PM tadi koneksi ke Yahoo! berasa lambaaaaat banget..I mean I really2 have no any idea. Padahal gw lagi serius banget pengen ngecek Astro gw hehehe :p. Dengan perasaan bingung dan gk ngerti knp–I mean kalo Yahoo! lambat tus musti protes sama siapa coba? :p Gw pun pasrah.
Dan you know what? Sekitar jam 8:30 PM tadi halaman Yahoo! yg gw cuekin nge-refresh dan tampilah “The New Yahoo!” dengan warna dominan biru muda cerah dan tampak lebih padat berisi 
hehehe. Senangnya jadi bagian dari orang-orang pertama yang melihat perubahan besar sebuah icon di jagat maya ini..hehehehe (senengnya kayak org yang liat komet lewat 100 th sekali deh). :p
Ok, check them out here, guys! www.yahoo.com dengan panduan site baru disini.
The old one is here.
Jadi IT admin sendirian selama 5 th lebih ternyata bikin aku kekeringan banget. I feel like running out of resources. Selama 5 th begitu banyak hal yang berkembang, teknologi yang terus bertumbuh. Dan gw tergopoh-gopoh mengejar itu semua. Five years without *a friend* to share things, problems and excitements feel like living this large world of IT alone. No training whatsoever, it’s easy to find a lack of knowledge in my head.
Saat ini yang ada di kepala gw cuman ngebayangin gw berada di sebuah ruang kelas dan dengerin orang ngomong. Teach me, pour me a rain of knowledge into my head, my heart, my soul. I’m so thirsty. 
Tapi gw belum punya cukup uang untuk ambil kelas Linux itu sekarang, bonus gw belum juga turun dan tabungan gw belum cukup. What should I do? I feel so in vain, so empty. I can’t bear its bitterness. This sour life of working woman. Feel that there’s so much I do about nothing. Where should I go from here?
God help me, please. I can’t go on without You.
Weekend kemarin gw ke Bali lagi. Biasa kerjaan ngurus seminar para dokter expert. Dan seperti biasa suasananya bikin makan hati, melelahkan baik fisik, pikiran dan hati. Arrgh…I can stand it nomore! Situasinya memang timpang, penuh lingkaran setan. Every rule, every policy, every work order, every procedure. *gosh*
Ya sudah gw mencoba menghibur diri dengan nonton channel NHK, Jepang aja. Gw baru pertama kali tune-in ke situ (you know-lah kalo di Hotel kita gak jauh-jauh dari HBO, MTV or Cartoon channel) dan agak sedikit kaget karena setelah 2 hari ngikutin secara terputus-putus kok channel itu mengingatkan gw akan TVRI ya? Setting panggung untuk acara musiknya, berita-beritanya yang gak ada cerita kriminalnya, pakaian para performer di sebuah acara musik (mungkin itu acara pemilihan penyanyi terbaik or something) itu masih ada yang biasaaaa banget–talking about rok rempel-rempel polos dengan warna biru muda or tatanan rambut digelung kebelakang, ada yg bawain semacam lagu mars kepatriotan juga–jadi inget Selecta Pop or Aneka Ria Safari gitu. Yah, gw ngebayanginya..ummm…Jepang gitu loh! High tech, dynamic, electric fashion style. Yang seperti itu cuman ada 1 group peserta doang yang lainnya cupu gitu gayanya. hmm..mungkin kemarin itu acara pemilihan penyanyi favorit tingkat provinsi or something gitu kali ya?
(sebenernya banyak yg pengen gw tulis tapi passion itu munculnya kemarin malem tapi gak kesampain dan malam ini gw ud gak telalu semangat) 
“The power is in your unconscious – Rolland Fishman” —> agak kaget waktu baca quote ini karena gw lagi baca blink. Dan harus gw akuin, gw agak skeptis dengan konsepnya (yang kalo gw singkat disini: menilai sesuatu/seseorang hanya dengan sekejap mata). Non-sense! Buku ini gw liat pertama kali di Borders, Singapura, akhir Januari 2005 lalu tapi entah kenapa waktu memegang buku itu gw merasa ambigu? Gw menginginkan dan sekaligus setengah mencibir buku ini. Dan loe tahu, setelah di Jakarta buku itu seperti selalu *menampakan diri* ke mata gw di toko buku manapun gw pergi, Kinokuniya, QB. Selama itu hanya gw lihat dan pegang-pegang aja (gw suka cover putih-nya) tapi masih menimbang-nimbang untuk beli. Sampai akhirnya setelah gajian gw pergi ke Kinokuniya, PIM 2 dengan satu tujuan: beli blink! Kebetulan ada versi Penguin Books dan disc. 20% pula jadilah gw makin yakin menuju kasir (walau belakangan harus gw akuin gw lebih suka desain cover aslinya yang terbitan Little, Brown).
Ini cuplikan yang gw ambil dari site bukunya:
It’s a book about rapid cognition, about the kind of thinking that happens in a blink of an eye. When you meet someone for the first time, or walk into a house you are thinking of buying, or read the first few sentences of a book, your mind takes about two seconds to jump to a series of conclusions. Well, “Blink” is a book about those two seconds, because I think those instant conclusions that we reach are really powerful and really important and, occasionally, really good.
Baru baca Bab I dan gw ternyata suka banget sama ide dan konsepnya. Lengkapnya nanti gw blog deh setelah selesai baca. 
(oh iya tp gw itu kalo baca lamaa banget… sepertinya mesti dateng ke seminarnya Gramedia nih “The Power of Speed Reading & The Art of Library” tanggal 25 Maret besok)
References:
1. decided to leave superman’s shadows behind
2. find a way to train my unconscious mind. Let it embarks its power
3. more focus on my self fulfillment
4. no more shinichi